Serendipity

2006-12-03T01:26:00.000+08:00

Unending Love

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times,
In life after life, in age after age forever.
My spell-bound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms

In life after life, in age after age forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, its age-old pain,
Its ancient tale of being apart or together,
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge
Clad in the light of a pole-star piercing the darkness of time:

You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount
At the heart of time love of one for another.
We have played alongside millions of lovers, shared in the same
Shy sweetness of meeting, the same distressful tears of farewell -
Old love, but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you,
The love of all man's days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life,
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours -
And the songs of every poet both past and forever.

Rabindranath Tagore

2006-10-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

"I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but I'm very sure of one thing. I'm sure that I just want to be with you" - Henry, 26 Oct 2004.

Those words, said on a chilly autumn evening one October, have continued to brighten my life 2 years down the road. I'll always remember that walk down the winding path back to Runkle Hall when you said those sweet sweet words to me; the first time I slipped my hand into yours and you gripped it tight; our first tentative kiss; the nightly walks around Penn State, staring at the stars from the gazebo - all the beautiful little moments we shared during the first flush of our relationship. And 2 years later, from the cute guy with the shy smile whom I first got to know during orientation, you've become my best friend and soul-mate. Things are just as beautiful and every moment spent with you is as wonderful, if not more so, as when we first started. Thank you baby, for loving me the way you do.

Happy 2 Years sweetie.

Oh Happy Day!

2006-07-12T19:08:00.000+08:00

2006-07-08T13:20:00.000+08:00

New job is awesome! I love love love what I'm doing, and everything is just SO relevant to my major. And my colleagues are just simply amazing. Everyone is so friendly, and already, the place is beginning to seem like home. I know the hours are going to be crazy, but I can't wait to really get started! A lot of the motivation stems from the interest that I have in my job, as well as the fact that I know I'm not just another pencil-pusher -- that my job has real significance.

okies, hafta rush off now. Am going to IKEA with Henry to buy stuff to decorate my office cubicle!

2006-06-30T17:20:00.000+08:00

Ohohoho! It's been a long time since I last updated eh? Come the 10th of July, I will no longer be a political science undergrad. Instead, my 16 years of education will have paid off and I will finally have my degree scroll in my hands. Am extremely thankful that my final year slacking did not have an adverse impact on my grades, and that I will be able to graduate with my desired class of honours. I don't know how that happened, but I'm very thankful still, especially since it was my grades that secured me of a job fairly quickly and painlessly. Next Monday, I shall join the ranks of the overworked everywhere.

In the meantime, life has been an absolute joy, the way life often is when you are free from responsibility and have a special someone to spend your days with. Eurotrip was such a blast (albeit a hideously expensive one). Barcelona has got to be one of my fave cities ever... I just love the relaxed atmosphere and the sense of carefree spontaneity there. I love how there's music and laughter and free performances surprising you at every turn and every corner. Even getting lost in Barcelona (something we became experts at) was enjoyable. We went to Mallorca after that where we spent all our days discovering the most pristine beaches... as well as getting totally sunburnt. Ouccchhhh. Venice was next on the agenda, and although I've seen SO many touristy postcards and images of Venice, nothing truly prepared me for the splendour that the city is known for. Romantic, it definitely is. More surprisingly, Venice is also a foodie's delight. I had the best Italian food I've ever tasted in my life here. Rome sadly, could not live up to the high standards of culinary delight that Venice had set. But noone goes to Rome for the food- not when there's the Colosseum to visit, or the Pantheon, or Trevi Fountain. Not forgetting Vatican City and the glorious Sistine Chapel. We were at our most touristy in Rome, all intentions of being cool backpackers having been forgotten. But well, when in Rome... The last place we visited was Nice and ahhhhh! Nice was very nice indeed! Hahaha. We suntanned at the Cote D'Azur, at the French Riviera, (by then our sunburns had healed), and never have I felt more glamourous! (Or encountered more gorgeous bodies... the shame!) The time we spent in Nice was way too short, but it's ok, that just means a fixed destination for our next vacation!

Aside from coming back from vacation, graduating, and preparing to start work, the cherry on top of my happy ice-cream comes in the form of news that Henry will be transferring to a college here. No more long-distance relationship, hurray!

Te amo, mi querido

2006-03-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

I guess it's about time I updated this thing. I'm not sure if anyone even reads it anymore though. And for me, the lure of blogging has disappeared. In any case, a brief update (for phantom readers out there) on my life. This semester is crazy, quite possibly the craziest semester in NUS by far. "Busy" just doesn't begin to describe it. Also I alternate between being really joyful at the thought of graduating and being resigned at the possibility of graduating with a less than desired CAP (thanks to last semester's horrendous results). And then I either try to delude myself by thinking, hey you know, CAPs don't matter all thaaaat much, or I just get anxiety attacks thinking ohmygod ohmygod I am NEVER gonna get a job! My mental acrobatics can be just as tiring as school itself.

I'm also in the midst of my job-hunting process, and by that I mean I'm only starting to write my resume. And registering to attend career fairs. Serial procrastinator at work...

But what I REALLY came here to say is, I miss my baby. He's in Orlando for Spring Break right now, and you would think that being in a long-distance relationship, that wouldn't actually make any difference. But it does. And I miss him. Very much. And it's a combination of longing and quite possibly PMS that I feel like crying when listening to Azure Ray. Seriously people, go check them out. I can't quite describe their music, but it is just BEAUTIFUL.

So i'm waiting for this test to end
So these lighter days can soon begin
I'll be alone but maybe more carefree
Like a kite that floats so effortlessly
I was afraid to be alone
Now im scared thats how id like to be
All these faces none the same
How can there be so many personalities
So many lifeless empty hands
So many hearts in great demand
And now my sorrow seems so far away
Until i'm taken by these bolts of pain
But i turn them off and tuck them away
till these rainy days that make them stay
And then i'll cry so hard to these sad songs
And the words still ring, once here now gone
And they echo through my head everyday
And i dont think they'll ever go away
Just like thinking of your childhood home
But we cant go back we're on our own
Oh,
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
Ill find it in myself
So were speeding towards that time of year
To the day that marks you're not here
And i think i'll want to be alone
So please understand that i dont answer the phone
I'll just sit and stare at my deep blue walls
Until i can see nothing at all
Only particles some fast some slow
All my eyes can see is all i know
Ohh..
But i'm about to give this one more shot
And find it in myself
I'll find it in myself

2006-01-13T00:55:00.000+08:00

Random snapshots from a most wonderful vacation, spent with the most awesome guy and his extremely loving family!

Sunrise (sunset?) and the anticipation of finally going to New York

I lurrrrve Rockefeller Centre

And of course, Times Square

Where we got our portraits done

Snowboarding in Vermont!

Happy at Broadway!

Freezing in Quincy Market, Boston

To watch the most HILARIOUS hypnotist show ever!

In love at the Charles River, by MIT

Ahhhh... MIT!

Christmas with the Roxas family... Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for showering me with so much love and attention, not to mention all the wonderful gifts!

My favourite Roxas... I love you

2005-12-24T11:24:00.000+08:00

Guess who went to New York City and watched a Broadway show yesterday? ME! And we got the best seats in the house too! We were sitting just TWO rows away from the stage, and I could even see the crows' feet on the actors' faces. THAT was how close we were. Me and Henry watched The Producers which is touted as having won the most number of awards in Broadway history, and we enjoyed every minute of it! The show lived up to its high acclaim and was nothing short of fabulous. Everything- from the acting to the singing to the costumes to the storyline- was just perfect. Oh my gosh, and the theatre where it was staged- St James Theatre- was the most majestic place I've ever been in. Gold gilded columns, elaborately painted ceilings, beautiful crystal chandeliers- everything was just so ornate and lavish, and oh, I just LOVED the bathrooms! Hahaha... and they weren't even called bathrooms, they were called "The Ladies And Gentlemen's Lounge". So bourgeois!

The day before that we went to a comedy club and watched a couple of stand-up comics. I was expecting some down-and-out comedian making lame-ass jokes that I would have to force myself to laugh at, since there weren't many other people around despite the free entry, but the whole act was surprisingly good. There were 4 comedians and they're all headliners for other shows, so that was pretty cool. I think my faves were the gay Jewish guy and the black guy. The first thing the gay guy did when he came on stage was to point to these two young guys at the back and then he went, "What's the matter with you two? You're looking at me like I touched you in the park when you were 8 or something". Hahaha... and after he found out that there were 2 ladies in the audience who were from London, he began this semi-rant about how the same words were used differently in the UK: "I was doing a show in London right, and I used the word 'fanny' on national television. Now how was I to know that 'fanny' meant 'vagina' in London? It's also used to mean 'vagina' in South Africa, Europe, Australia- everywhere except the damn United States! So there I was on national television, talking about how big J. Lo's vagina was!" Hur hur hur. The black guy was just as self-deprecating. He was talking about racism and then he went "I was passing by this white lady, and when she saw me, she started clutching her purse tighter, and she stared at me. Now why did she have to do that for? So I just stared at her too. So we had this stand-off, both of us just staring at each other,and her thinking I was gonna rob her". Slight pause. "So I robbed her". Hahaha! That was just hilarious man. I love comedy clubs. I think I wanna go to an improv theatre next.

Well Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!

2005-12-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

Too lazy for a proper post, so I'm just gonna put up an (edited) email I wrote to Ash (who just got back from a fab holiday in Argentina... lucky girl!)

BABE!!!

Oh my god... it was SOO nice getting ur email ok! I just had a big smile on my face when reading it... I love long emails full of exciting news. Heh. Anyway, I'm already on Long Island, at Henry's house, and man! It has been a really hectic couple of days! I just got back from snowboarding today... Ahahaha... you can just imagine how THAT was for someone who can't even blade, and who trips over her own feet even on land! Needless to say, I pretty much have had enough of snow to last me a couple of lifetimes. Falling down isn't really the problem (it was kinda fun falling actually), it was the getting up after the fall that was. Who would have thought, eh?

His family has been really hospitable, but it's kinda weird being caught in the whirlwind of somebody else's family life. While his family's been really nice, it's still not my family, and however nice they are, I still feel like a stranger here, you know? Kudos to him for sticking it out with my family for 3 whole months, although admittedly, my family doesn't spend ALL our waking moments together. (Yes, I knew his family was close-knit, but I didn't realise exactly HOW much!) I've hardly spent time alone with him since we arrived on Long Island, which isn't really the point of this trip. Ok but to be fair, this is only my third day here... Hahaha. But all this family bonding has made me rather homesick, hence my utter joy when I got your email... I MISS you! Oh my gosh, I just have SO much to update you! Get ready for loadsa emo musings when I get back babe! Okie dokes babe, have a great holiday and email me back!! :)

*hugs*

Yup... feeling a tad bit homesick right now... so text or call me people!

Reunited

2005-12-11T09:20:00.000+08:00

A few reasons why you shouldn't take an American airline to go to the States...

1. Overheard on the plane before leaving Changi en route to Narita:
"Hey man, is Singapore next to China?" When told by his friend that it's an island, the ignorant one continues, "So it's an island near China and Japan?"

2. Friend of ignorant one begins singing, "I'm leeeaving on a jet plane, hopefully we don't crash and burrrnnnn". Nice.

3. From Narita to JFK, fat white man sits next to me and says, "So I'm assuming you speak English?" And later, "You can just elbow me if I fall asleep and start snoring- you know what "snore" is, don't you?" Fucker.

Aaaannnyyyway, ignorant Americans aside, the interminably long plane journey wasn't all that bad, mainly because I met this really nice Malaysian journalist on the plane and we started talking. She's going to New York to meet her American husband of one year. And even though they're married, she doesn't have a green card yet, so she doesn't get to see him all that often- only about twice a year. Sounds familiar, huh? And as she started recounting his conversion to Islam, I just had to smile. Her story sounds like my story in a couple of years' time... well, hopefully. *grins*

Many hours on the plane later, we finally arrived at JFK, where Henry's mum was waiting for me. She's got to be one of the sweetest ladies ever- second only to my own mum. She had tears in her eyes when she saw me (hahaha so drama!), and she kept exclaiming "I was so worried about you!" (cos the plane was late), and "I'm so happy you're finally here!" She even bought me a hat and gloves! In pink! Cos she remembered that "the last time you were here, you had a pink coat on". Heh yes, now everyone go Awwwww...

So from JFK, his mum and dad drove me to Penn State- which is about 4 hours away. MORE travelling... just great. But his parents are really nice people and it was actually kinda fun talking to them, not awkward like I expected. His mum and I even watched The Prince and Me at the back of their van together, and his mum just kept going "Ohhh so sweet, I hope they end up together". Hahahaha!

After much anticipation, I FINALLY met Henry again, and now I'm all warm and snug in his dorm room, when it's minus 1 degree outside. :) The past 2 days have been spent going to familiar places like the Waffle Shop downtown, Nittany Mall, Wal-Mart, and also just re-creating the walks we used to take last year. Everything looks so familiar, it's almost as though I've never even left. And it's been snowing pretty heavily lately so everything's blanketed in snow... gorgeous! Pictures will be up as soon as I can figure out how to transfer pictures from mine and Henry's phones to his laptop (typically, my camera batteries died as soon as there was anything picturesque to capture). Updates later!

I just have to say...

2005-08-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

That I LOVE security studies! It's a module that I would willingly and quite happily wake up at 730 in the morning for. Anything international relations-related just makes me happy lah. If only they had more IR modules for Honours instead of the all too tedious comparative politics classes.

And what brought on this sudden declaration of love for my module, you ask? Doing my readings... Heh. Kashmiri conflict, Taiwan Straits, 6 Party Talks, religious extremism, US unilateralism... I feel so in my element!

Cos you make my heart sing...

2005-08-24T00:54:00.000+08:00

If I had one wish boy,
I'd wish you next to me
And it could be in Summer, Fall, or Spring boy
Cos you make my heart sing
I wanna give my heart, my soul, my love to you , ohh baby, yeah
Cos everyday I'm not with you, I'm missing you,
Like crazy
I need for you to,
[Chorus 1]
(I need ya to)
Love me (love me)
Hold me (hold me)
Touch me (touch me)
Down deep in my soul,
Never let it go,
Of the love we share, no one compares to you
I'll never let you go,
Cos I really love you so
Ohh I,
I'll never let you go
Ohhh nooo,
No, no ,no, no
You must know the truth boy,
I'm nothing without you,
Its funny how I know what people mean, boy
When it's too good to be true
Because you give me joy, good love, good times,
Such happiness, ohh yeah
And every day I thank the Lord for you,
I feel, so blessed
I need for you to,
[Repeat Chorus 1]
[Chorus 2]
If you only knew,
What you really do
Ain't never had no one that does it quite like you do
You can spend half a life time trying to find one like you
That's why I'm so glad I found you, babe
I wished upon a star and it came true
Darling I need for you to,
[Repeat Chorus 1]
Hmmmm, hmmmm

To the one and only brown eyed boy who truly does make my heart sing... *smiles*

2005-08-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

Thanks everyone for all your birthday wishes and greetings :) The most touching message I got was from my dad who wrote, "Dearest Farah, if I were asked to write the definition of birthday, I would change it to read, 'The day I am glad you were born'. Happy birthday to you dearest". Awww... I teared when I read that. I love my family. *sniff*

My parents doing a Jack and Rose...

My family is truly my pillar of strength and my source of solace and comfort. I love them sooo much!

2005-08-18T23:00:00.000+08:00

Ad and I collected our Dean's List certificates earlier today. And being the jakun people we are, we decided to take pictures to preserve this once-in-a-lifetime achievement.

Anyway, after hearing about my sister's fabulous escapades in New York with her boyfriend right now, Ad was like, "You and your sister are so living the life. When I have kids, I'm gonna pamper them so much that they'll be materialistic enough to find the perfect kinda guy". Ahahaha... thanks ah! In keeping with my "materialistic" self, this is so MY kinda t-shirt. It ranks way up there together with my Princess/Brat tee.

"Buy Me Something"

Now, who wants to get that for me on my birthday? *grins*

You're beautiful, it's true

2005-08-01T12:39:00.000+08:00

To start the new academic year on a right note, here's what I got...

It comes with wireless internet, wireless mouse and keyboard, and a remote control for my dvd viewing pleasure- all on a 19" LCD monitor. Sweet! Aaanddd...

A new HP 3in1 photo printer too! I'm a lucky lucky girl. A little too spoiled, but I'm lovin' it! Hah, so much for wanting to save my parents some money by choosing not to stay in hall. These tech purchases (plus router) probably cost a whole lot more than an entire semester's worth of hall stay. Ahhh well, hopefully they'll provide the inspiration I need to write the multitude of essays that await me when semester starts!

The only rain on my parade right now? That I only have 4 modules. Damn CORS and unreasonable bidders.

"I’m gonna make today sugar-coated.
I’m gonna get so high I’m lying here on the floor.
It’s time these shoes of mine were fully loaded.
It’s time to sit back and smile".

Happy Holidays

2005-07-27T14:57:00.000+08:00

Ok, I am freaking out right now. Honours year is gonna be a LOT tougher than I thought. And it hasn't even started yet! On the one hand there's this whole elitist vibe to doing the honours; we are officially congratulated at a nice welcome tea ceremony, we have our own little room, library advantages (free document delivery services from ANY university in the world, plus! we're allowed to borrow up till 15 books! Which greatly appeals to the nerd in me, but carting the books home is another matter altogether). But there are definite drawbacks too. Writing 5000 word essays is one of them. This is such bad news since I barely make the word limit in my normal 2500 word essays. Most of the time I write under the word limit, and make sure I use Arial instead of Times New Roman in order to submit a reasonably thick termpaper. Ohhhhh and writing a thesis will be infinite times worse. Already, we're expected to think of a topic and get it approved by mid semester. AND finish writing the intro by December. All these on top of the level 4000 modules that I'm taking this sem. Stress! I don't know how I'm gonna cope with so many level 4000 modules when I've not even taken one before. And I thought thesis madness wouldn't start till next sem. Oh, and NUS kids are crazy cos they've already started thronging the Central Library to borrow books on their reading list. Like, whaaaat! The bidding round closed only yesterday! School doesn't start for 2 more weeks, people! Urgh.

It's gonna be a looooong year ahead.

In the meantime, I'm gonna enjoy what's left of my hols.

Happy Anniversary to us :)

Been there, done that- Check!

2005-07-16T17:35:00.000+08:00

Gorgeous Phuket!

Elephant trekking!
Whitewater rafting in Phuket!

Posing in front of Zeus' temple in Turkey

Mummy, Daddy and me- Living it up in Turkey!Pretty in pink at Emy's birthday party at Hyatt Hotel

This has been the most AWESOME holiday ever! First up was Turkey, which was just amazing. Turkey is so rich in history and culture, and seeing the Trojan Horse and relics of ancient temples dedicated to the Greek gods was simply surreal. We literally walked in the footsteps of the ancient Greeks and Romans, as well as Prophet Mohammad, the Virgin Mary and John the Baptist. A mind-blowing experience for any history buff! And Istanbul was so gorgeous too, with wild roses growing everywhere, and its scenic mountains and rivers. So very romantic!

Next holiday was in Phuket with Henry. What impressed me the most about Phuket is the city's ability to transform itself so quickly after the tsunami. There wasn't a trace of the destruction caused by the tsunami at all, and all the shops and hotels were newly renovated, up and running. The hotel which we stayed at, Ban Thai beach resort was closed for 6 months after the tsunami and opened only 2 weeks before we arrived, and yet everything was running so smoothly. It was also, might I add, the most beautiful and welcoming hotel I've ever been to. Plus it's only a few steps away from the beach. I highly recommend the hotel to anyone visiting Phuket. Anyway, Phuket was so much fun. And so cheap too! For a little more than $500, (which includes the flight, the wonderful hotel and sumptious Thai food), we got to go

Jetskiing
Whitewater rafting
Elephant trekking
ATV- racing (it's this 4-wheel drive thingy)
Snorkelling
Island-hopping
Body-surfing

And after all that strenuous physical activity, what better way to relax than an authentic Thai massage! Ahhhhh...

All that vacationing plus meeting up with friends and having my lovely here with me has made this the most perfect holiday! I never want this to end! =)

It's oh-so-quiet... Shhh!

2005-05-10T04:24:00.000+08:00

The house is quiet, the parents are asleep and all I hear is the gentle whirring of the ceiling fan. The silence is somewhat unnerving and it feels strange not to have neighbours popping by, jumping on my bed, or laughing hysterically outside. Saying my goodbyes as I closed the door to B403 for the very last time sprung forth unexpected tears... Back at home after 3 years- where did all the time go? And after all that time spent together, will we keep in touch? I definitely hope so for I hold every single one of you reading this dearly in my heart.

In any case, I had a fabulous time with Riz, Lizard and Ad the night before we all packed up and left for home. What was meant to be a simple movie and dinner outing became a sleepless all-nighter marathon. I think we traversed the whole of Taka and Far East and DFS before finally settling our butts down at Lido for a good solid lepak session. We left Lido only at 2am, as they were closing, and that was followed by a frantic search for a toilet by yours truly. New discovery: Hotel toilets are not usually open that late as they're closed for "cleaning". Bah! Hooray for Marriott Hotel then which was honestly a life-saver. Aaaanyway, we proceeded to walk all the way to Esplanade after that, where again we plonked our butts and vegetated. The most fun part of the night was when we started clambering up this slope that's underneath the Nicoll Highway (I think?) I don't really know how to describe it, but imagine a fork between 2 roads, with that fork leading downwards towards what is a pedestrian underpass beneath those 2 roads. So anyway, we were at the underpass when just for a lark we decided to climb up the slope. And it was just awesome to be at the top where either side of you were roads- empty and desolate at that hour, and strangely breathtaking. And what was even more exhilarating was the slide down the slope. We did that a couple of times and got reeaaallllyyy dirty afterwards (it was a road after all). So then this bunch of dirty raggamuffins proceeded to Fullerton Hotel to wash up but were denied entry again cos the toilets were being cleaned, so we had to make do with good old McDonald's where we were just in time for breakfast :)

I *heart* you guys

Panacea for my pain

2005-04-29T23:22:00.000+08:00

Oh my god, I swear hall people are amongst the nicest people I've ever met. Just as I was dying doing my readings for Soci (what on EARTH is Charles Tilly going on and on about?!), this girl I hardly even talk to came by with a cheery sing-song "Fah-raaah" and presented me with a plate of brownie. With ice-cream. Which she'd baked. And dammit, it tastes so goooood! Nice people may be hard to come by nowadays, but I'm convinced they all reside in KR B Blk.

Awww... so mushy. Hahahaha, ok enough. Back to (bloody) Tilly. Ohmygodkillmenow.

Edited at 12.47am: Today must be feeding time at the zoo or something, cos my FAYYY-vourite hall couple (hahahah how's that for some boot-licking?) just popped by with some strawberry cheesecake. Woohoo! I feel so loved! Ahahahaha...

1st day of the rest of my life...

2005-04-22T17:20:00.000+08:00

"Just for once I'd like to be able to complete a paper!"- Ash

Yeah, I hear you girl. Time management has always been my greatest enemy. It is just NOT possible to complete 3 essays in 2 hours. You want a new form of torture? This is it. But it's not like I'm not used to it so I should quit complaining. Not being able to finish my papers is just so... lumrah hidup for me.

Looking forward to more hastily scribbled point-forms in the last 5 minutes of exams... Sigh.

1 down, 4 more to go!

2005-04-06T04:00:00.000+08:00

Aeros the Gorgeous :)

Maths= Fun!

2005-04-05T13:41:00.000+08:00

So who says Maths lectures are boring? Sometimes you get the unexpected bit of excitement and romance in Maths lects too!

Kudos to the budding Romeo who had the guts to express his feelings so openly. It was a well-planned and thoughtful gesture of romance designed to sweep any girl off her feet. But not this particular one, it would seem. She's one tough babe.

Apparently she was so disturbed by the entire incident that she lodged a complaint- which got her lecturer into trouble. And the poor dude was only trying to spread the love, ya'll! Heh, I don't envy guys sometimes. Girls bitch incessantly about guys and how unromantic they are, and how they don't know how to treat a girl right (or am I just talking about myself here? Hahahaha), but when a guy comes along and tries to act the Prince Charming and sweep them off their feet, they freak out. Girls! ;) Personally, while I would have been embarassed to have the limelight on me like that, I would also take it all in my stride. I mean, it IS a compliment after all. Ahhh well, I guess I'm just an attention-whore the way that this girl is not. :)

And the curtains fall...

2005-03-31T14:22:00.000+08:00

So that's the end. My final curtain call. The most poignant moment of the night, where together with all the rest of the final years, I sang the 'Goodnight Song' and witnessed the sea of faces before me. Faces that I'd most probably never see again after I leave hall- at least, not gathered in unity the way they were last night. Never again will I be on that stage (and perhaps any other stage, for that matter), strutting my stuff and saying out my lines in one of many KRX plays put up for the hall. The end of my performing "career". I'll miss lots of people and I regret not getting to know some of them better. Hall has played such a big part of my undergraduate life and it feels strange to realize that I'll no longer be a part of it. Three years seem to have just melted away... Adding to the poignancy of the night was the doorgift given to all final years- what is arguably THE most thoughtful gift ever. I miss Old KR, the site of many of my fondest memories, and it was so good to have a memento of that.

Letting go is harder than I expected.

Aeros Rocks My Socks!

2005-03-26T02:22:00.000+08:00

Hope you had a great 22nd birthday Ash! :)

It was Ladies' Night Out at its most fabulous, cos the company was just awesome. It's been waaaaayyyy too long since all 6 of us got together- with NO guys, just us girls. I missed you gorgeous babes ok! Aaaanyway, Ash got the special princess treatment at Cafe Insomnia, where the resident band sung a birthday song for her, with spotlight segala. Hahaha, you're lucky they didn't make you go up the stage! OH! And The-Rockstar-Who-Can't-Sing-But-Thinks-He's-Hot even did this little "sexy" dance for her, lifting up his shirt to show off his (NOT!) toned tummy underneath! Hahahaha, that was seriously the Euwwww moment of the night. But but BUT! Nana, of Singapore idol fame, and who just happens to be Emy's cousin, was performing too, and thanks to her, we got complimentary fries and chicken wings! Yayness! (And she made SOME people very happy too by offering to bluetooth Taufik's photo to them... like, whatever! Hahahaha).

After that we proceeded to China Jump where Nana was gonna perform a set, and once again, we received complimentary drinks! Sweet! And it was time for Ash to blush once more as the entire club sang "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" just specially for her! :) Hope that made your birthday that little bit more memorable babe, and every bit as special as you are! *smoooooch!*

Anyway, that got me thinking about what I wanna do for my birthday this year (since I didn't exactly celebrate it last year, what with being a newly arrived visitor in a strange new country and all. SOB!) aaannnddd... I think I wanna celebrate it with a bang. Not a bang bang, but you know the figurative kinda bang I mean. In any case, I think I'm gonna have a superb summer holiday cos I'll be going to both Turkey and Greece! Woohoo! *fingers crossed* If nothing screws up that is... Henry's friend has an olive ranch in Greece and has kindly invited us to stay. That! Is gonna be! SO! AWESOME! Hahahaha, ok enough of the O.C-speak. But yup, I'm pretty excited about it and I cannot wait for my holidays to begin! Wheeeeee...!

The Life of a Hostelite...

2005-03-23T03:11:00.000+08:00

... can be summed up by

Red Bull
Instant noodle suppers

at 4 am in the morning. Not only am I not getting any nutrition (which explains why I'm falling sick), but I'm also gonna GROW FAT AND DIE.

Exhausted. 2 submissions done, 2 more to contend with, plus 1 test. It's March madness I tell you. No sleep until 5th May- last day of exams! Eeeks.

Dinner and Dance!

2005-03-10T14:25:00.000+08:00

Well, it was more a dinner than a dance really, so DnD is somewhat of a misnomer. In any case, it wld be my last hall DnD so I wanted to pull out all the stops in dressing up for this costume party. OF COURSE what completely slipped my mind was that 1) I cannot sew 2) Doing anything vaguely domesticated is guaranteed to put me in a bad mood. So THANK YOU Sher, Lizard and Shirlene for helping me sew and doing up my puffy sleeves and cape, and other assorted nonsense. My table dressed as Snow White and the 7 Dwarves (guess who's Snow White?) and my table mates completely blew me away with their creativity and ingenuity. You guys are brilliant, I swear! As for me, heh, when others saw possibilities in a piece of cloth, all I saw was... cloth. While they could envision what the final product would look like and how to achieve it, I was standing by with mounting exasperation, trying to bite the urge to scream. Hahahaha... Anyway my table looked gorgeous and Sher won best costume for her evil stepmother get-up. Yay Sher! Also, my block rocks cos in addition to that, one of our block tables also won Best Dressed Table, with their Kill Bill VS Kung Fu Hustle outfits, replete with self-made guzheng!

The pageant part of DnD brought the greatest surprise, but there was one defining moment which made my heart leap up in wonderment. Hahaha I'm in love with that one small gesture. *winks*

An abundance of photo-taking followed after the pageant results were announced. We are all photo whores :)

2005-03-10T14:23:00.000+08:00

Snow White and the 7 Dwarves, plus evil stepmother, witch and best of all, a mirror! The most colourful table at DnD!

2005-03-10T14:22:00.000+08:00

Bitch Wing babes!

2005-03-10T14:09:00.000+08:00

My lovely 5th floor babes

Only As Good As The Memories We Make

2005-03-06T03:55:00.000+08:00

It finally hit me that this will be my last and final semester staying in hall. Going on exchange and then coming back and feeling too lazy to partake in any of the hall activities proved to be my downfall. I don't have enough points to stay on in hall, and although I saw this coming, I'm unprepared for the sudden wave of sadness and nostalgia that's engulfing me now. In my first year, I chose to stay in hall merely for the experience, and I planned to leave after one semester. One semester became two, and two soon became three years. Although hall activities and commitments can be a bitch sometimes, hall life gave me a sense of belonging to this vast and impersonal institution called NUS. It grounded me to something warm and familiar, encouraged me to try out new activities and widened my social circle to include those I ordinarily wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet. I fell in love for the first time in hall too- which is almost an obligatory rite of passage for all hall-dwellers. I'll miss gossiping about the newest hall couples, the block suppers, the late nights in my neighbours' rooms, talking about everything and nothing, and watching vcds and sharing and blasting music. I'll miss being an aspiring actress, writer, editor, scriptwriter, but I'll always be grateful for the opportunity to try my hand at these things. I'll even miss the crazy exam periods where I'll study with friends till 6 or 7 in the morning, only to wake up at lunchtime and make my way to HSS library, where there'll always be a seat saved for me. Most of all, I'll miss being cared for by the people who are all too willing to feed me when I get hunger pangs late at night, who know my habits and quirks, my schedule and deadlines, and are always supportive whenever I feel like dying under the weight of a million pending essays.

I remember my first year when I had to write a script for B block's skit for the mooncake festival- which we eventually won. I remember being captain for touch rugby during ibg, and having to cook a thank you supper for the entire block. That was a spectacular showcase of my ineptness in the kitchen and SOMEONE took a video of it and shared it with everyone else in hall. I remember being director of a play we put up for Hall Opening, attended (and complimented) by President Nathan and other VIPs. I remember being piggy-backed to my lecture after I'd sprained my ankle, and being wheeled in a wheelchair when I got tired of limping around. Too many memories to articulate, and putting them into words would just diminish their significance and value.

Like A. said, from now on, everything we do would be for the very last time. I'm probably gonna bawl during Command Performance- my very last performance for Kent Ridge Hall.

"And even if we come home empty handed
We'll still have our stories
Of battle scars, pirate ships and wounded hearts,
Broken bones, and all the best of friendships
And when this hourglass
Has filtered out
Its final grain of sand
I raise my glass to the memories we had"

And so it is... I can't take my eyes off you

2005-03-02T15:15:00.000+08:00

Am in love with Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter, taken from the soundtrack of Closer. A beautiful song, so haunting with a tinge of desperation. Perfect song for a perfect movie. I like Natalie Portman's character, whom I can relate to the most. She's so idealistic and holds so strongly to the notion of true love. "I don't leave the one I love". "Why isn't love enough?" And Anna, the character played by Julia Roberts provides the perfect foil to that. She settles for stability, comfort, familiarity cos she's too afraid to be with the one she loves. And the men in the movie also represent the roving eyes of many a man out there. "If you fall in love at first sight, you'll never stop looking". An intelligent play on words. I didn't exactly know what it meant initially, but now I get it and it fits so wonderfully with the movie. Such an accurate portrayal of life and love.

The first thing I did after watching the movie was to download the song. Proceeded to declare that night EMO NIGHT, and put the song on repeat. My neighbours thought I was crazy, heh. I just call them heartless *grins* Although I HAVE converted a few of them who are now as crazy as I am over the song. I wouldn't mind watching the movie again, but this movie is best appreciated only if I watch it with aeros. No one else will understand my emo gushing. "On your marks, get set, EMO!" Hahahaha... I love you girls. I couldn't have asked for better company to watch the movie with me.

It's finally raining after weeks of smog and haze. The smell of pollution has gone from the air, and I can see the crisp outlines of buildings again. And with Damien Rice (still) on repeat, I couldn't ask for more :)

Winner for the Day

2005-02-27T22:32:00.000+08:00

We got 1st place for canoe polo! How wonderful. How incredible. Canoe polo is one fun sport! I wish I'd picked it up earlier. Aaanyway, I have a gorgeous gold medal hanging from my notice board right now. Thank god my weekend of staying back in hall didn't go to waste.

One whole week of break from school, and when do I decide to get started on my essay due Monday? On Sunday night at 10pm thankyouverymuch. I am brilliant. Am starting to get worried. I should stop fucking around and concentrate on my schoolwork. This is my FINAL semester to raise my CAP!

Hmmm... something's distracting me though. I thought this phase was over, dammit! Hopefully this feeling goes away soon. It's making me so confused!

You and Me

2005-02-21T17:35:00.000+08:00

Cos it's you and me and all of the people/ With nothing to do, nothing to lose/ And it's you and me and all of the people and/ I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off you.

He compiled a few of my favourite songs into a cd which I got in the mail a couple of days ago. My special favourite is You and Me by Lifehouse. Listening to it just gives me that fuzzy feeling of love. I *heart* Lifehouse. I *heart* him too of course. Heh. His flight has been confirmed for May 11th to Aug 17. 3 months of hooray-hoorayness!

Have been enjoying myself with new found friends these days. Getting out of my comfort zone has proven to be good for me. This, along with being more involved in community work, was my new year resolution. So one down, one more to go!

2005-02-17T22:44:00.000+08:00

Pretty flowers :)

2005-02-17T22:43:00.000+08:00

The hugest bunch of flowers I've ever received!

2005-02-17T22:41:00.000+08:00

I got flowers delivered to my house yesterday

2005-02-15T14:20:00.000+08:00

And it became a whole family production.

First: My dad msged me telling me that I received flowers.
An hour later: My mum called while I was in the shower.
A few minutes later: My dad msged me again asking if I'd gotten his previous msg.
While I was in class: My mum called again, this time leaving a voicemail requesting that I call her back.

So FINALLY I got back to my mum, and upon picking up the phone, she exclaimed excitedly, "H sent you flowers!!!"

Ahahahaha... Imagine if I'd gotten a marriage proposal instead. I think they'd take out an advertisement in The Straits Times.

I have cute parents. Heh.

I'm going home today to see my pretty flowers!

NUS Babies

2005-02-09T01:42:00.000+08:00

"Eh he's very rude. How can he set a test right after Chinese New Year? It's very inconsiderate leh".

Well, exkeeuuse me girlfriend, but this is only ONE test worth 10% of your final grade. Muslim undergrads have to sit for their entire FINAL examinations (that's about 4 to 6 papers, mind you) during Hari Raya every single freaking year. Go get some perspective.

The said professor is also nice enough to provide us with both lecture notes and our required readings for FREE before every single class, thus saving us time and money. This is a level of spoonfeeding that is not only unprecedented, but also preposterous considering the fact that as undergrads, we are expected to be responsible for our own learning. Still, I'm not going to look a gifthorse in the mouth and I'm fully appreciative of his efforts. So today he left the required readings in his office, and had to leave the class halfway to go get them...

"Eh he's very kuku lor".

Sometimes I wonder at the sort of students that the "premier institution of the Asia-Pacific region" is churning out.

This That and All That Jazz

2005-02-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

My propensity to date the most revolting guys suddenly hit me hard yesterday. It literally took my breath away. I have very poor judgement indeed. A clearer picture of who he is emerged- an image that wasn't commensurate with who I thought he was all along. I'm speechless.

Poor judgement aside, I did my all for the relationship. I was sad that it ended the way it did despite my efforts (and my deluded belief of having found The One), but my new-found awareness of who he really is at least manages to quell my squalling doubts and questions. An unequivocal NO to the niggling question of second chance.

And instead of focusing on what I never was to a guy who has proven himself to be less than a man, I should concentrate my efforts and emotions instead on the guy to whom I am everything. The guy who never fails to make me so happy and special. It's nice to finally have your feelings reciprocated.

*********************************************************************************

Have you ever had a friend who wasn't quite a friend? Someone whom you were accidentally friends with only because that person managed to leech onto you and impose his/her friendship on you? Someone who, quite frankly drives you up the wall, but through sheer persistence, has managed to resemble your pesky younger sibling who wants to emulate your every move and follow your every footstep? Except that I don't have a younger sibling, nor do I particularly want one.

Sigh. I should learn to be more forgiving, to let go of all my negative energy, and all that new-age jazz. Maybe I should take up yoga.

The Case of The Ex

2005-01-28T15:13:00.000+08:00

Saw The Ex a while ago. Our first chance meeting since the break-up. And my, my, the reception that I received was indeed very much different from when I last saw him. We were both bidding a tearful and emotional goodbye to each other then. 4 months is nothing compared to the rest of our lives. *snort* Yeah, well, that would have been true if someone hadn't cheated.

I hate feeling bitter and angry. I hate that he doesn't think what he did was wrong. I hate that he's spreading falsities about me. But most of all, I hate it when memories of tenderness and shared laughter creeps in uninvited into my head. I hate my doubts and the whole concept of "second chance".

When you're a naturally proud person who is loathe to allow anyone to witness her vulnerabilities, even your best friends are left clueless to how you actually feel. Especially when some of them don't already approve of your current relationship.

Smile.

A Place To Call My Own

2005-01-26T18:36:00.000+08:00

To get away from prying eyes, to establish a greater degree of anonymity than in my previous blog, to start afresh, to lend paper (albeit in virtual form) to my thoughts and emotions- for all these reasons and more, I have succumbed to the allure of blog*spot. Endings that lead to new beginnings. Beginnings that may someday end. Goodbye Diaryland, Hello Blogger.